Inside your fears is a dream waiting to make itself heard….

dramatic dream

dramatic dream (Photo credit: unNickrMe)

My inner world is a reflection of the outer world….sometimes it is bright and sunny (“Life’s a Beach” weather)…sometimes it’s partly cloudy….sometimes it’s a light drizzle…and sometimes it’s a full fledged tropical storm ( I suppose that this type of inner weather inspired the “Life’s a B-tch” mantra..!)….

The temptation is to try to achieve as many “beach” days as possible (could this be why I have gravitated to Florida…??), but when it rains, I console myself with the knowledge that our glorious planet would be one dry, nasty little dust bomb if it never rained.

Knowing that I definitely don’t want to wake up as a “dry, nasty little dust bomb”, I reluctantly allow my inner world to try to relax into those “indoor weather” days.

That’s a bit of a long intro, so let it suffice to say that I woke up yesterday knowing that in spite of the appearance of sun outdoors, inside my world was definitely a rainy weather day. In spite of the chipper “Tick Tock” song on my alarm, in spite of the lure of my favorite gym classes, and in spite of the yippity yaps of my three “furever” friends, the idea of burying myself more deeply under the covers and letting the world orbit without me seemed like the most palpable option at that moment. Yes, all analogies aside, this was a day when the stress factor seemed almost overwhelming. I wasn’t even in fight or flight mode. I was in the “why don’t you just hide” mode…

And as I lay there, trying to inch my way to better and better thoughts (which can seem truly IMPOSSIBLE when part of my mind insisted on belting out those “helpful little realities”–cough, sputter, wheeze— along the lines of “how on earth could you have gotten yourself into this….what happened…you should have, could have, would have…and we of course TOLD YOU SO….!), something quite magical happened….

This wee tiny little thought just popped into my head…suddenly…and unambitiously…it was like the person who pops into the party where everyone has decided to wear black, but this quiet little person has decided to wear this brilliantly bright red dress (or jacket) and all of sudden, the room’s world is a brighter place.

“Inside your fears is a dream waiting to make itself heard….”

As I poked at this small but mighty thought, I felt that first little ray of sunshine dance into my inner world. A new seed had sprouted and the roots were taking hold. I got out of bed and began my morning with this odd sense of hope and faith in my path–when moments ago, I felt like my road had been blocked by a landslide. As I maneuvered through my chores, my mind began to play with this new guest…this interesting new perspective that proclaimed itself to be a “reality”. Could I embrace this as a “real” belief? Would it pass the taste test? I poked and prodded some more and inched my way gingerly back to the computer.

My fear was that the day would bring more challenges…but if fear was just the wrapping paper for the dream that lay inside, could I coax myself to peel away that wrapping and focus instead on uncovering the gift? I took a breath…a deeeeeeep breath….yes, I could feel that I was already able to find some thoughts that allowed me to definitely begin to feel little tingles of hope…it was still a glimmer, but it was definitely better….

It was not unlike taking myself to the gym, but this time, instead of exercising my body, I was exercising my mind….at first, “lifting” those hopeful thoughts to a point where they felt genuine and natural was a bit hard. I have been immensely helped by the ideas shared by Abraham-Hicks, so I knew to start “general”. I left the “how will I accomplish” and “when will it get here” questions for my “universal trainer” to figure out. I just began gently focusing on the things that WERE going well, the things that I HAVE improved in my world, and what it feels like when it feels really good….!!! How DOES that successful sensation feel? What DO I feel like I really love doing–and therefore do it well? And haven’t so many “successful” individuals had some amazing stories to tell? What would be my story?

Suddenly, I had that little jolt of energy, for no “logical” reason (if you were basing logic on the stresses that I was facing at work). But–guess what? I had SHIFTED my logic…. my logic had suddenly bought into the belief that these reasons for optimism were real…yes…REAL! They FELT real, so I was off and running and ready to energize my day!

Well, here’s where the “cool, weird” part landed… my phone rang…and an official legal document that I feared was in jeopardy (and that supposedly would take up to 3 months to resolve) was approved and ready to go…yes, it had only taken 2 weeks!!! I got two emails from clients saying that their slow payments were being overnighted to me. Presto! My cash flow was instantly better… New clients called…and my world was suddenly an easier place to breathe. The rain had definitely created some new blooms in the process. Ideas were flowing and I was once again seeing signs of the “ener-joy” (energy+ joy….yes, I am a solid believer in creating my own vocabulary!).

I don’t know exactly what my dream to end all dreams is. I find that I have many dreams–and that they change with my own inner ebb and flow. But, I can say this, by lightly gliding through the fear, I did find more focus…a finer tuning…revived hope and vision. I am not a big fan of stress and daunting challenges, but maybe that’s where courage comes in… Perhaps courage is that little voice that bravely proclaims in the midst of those inner demons:

“Inside your fears is a dream waiting to make itself heard…”

Courage is the moment when you take that next step forward….

Wishing you all your own moments of bliss and courage…

In-joy,

Tinkerbell

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The Road to Happiness: Surely It Doesn’t Include That Brick Wall?

English: The Great Wall of China, near Beijing...

English: The Great Wall of China, near Beijing in July 2006. This is a section of Mutianyu. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hello dear wonderful friends and hello dear wonderfully precocious Universe! Today I (gasp!) celebrate something that probably sounds a bit odd and bizarre to be celebrating: yes, those obnoxious and frustrating brick walls that we all seem to occasionally hit….Ok, so maybe I’m not truly rolling in joy as I say this, but please┬áread on…..

Sometimes these little challenges can feel like mere pot holes and other times, they can feel like the Great Wall of China. When that’s the case, it is often hard not to feel like the wind has been knocked out of us. Forget about having any wind left to fill our sails. It is an awful, scary, frustrating and disempowering sort of feeling and we usually wind up feeling like we just want to hide under the covers until some Fairy Godmother can come and magically strike down this evil intruder. Whatever happened to our previously calm Universe? And what on Earth could we have possibly done to have deserved and/or to have created THIS particular monster?

This is the part of the story where the temptation is either to beat up upon ourselves or to try to distract ourselves from the discomfort by looking for the villain elsewhere? We often feel like someone else is seriously flawed (because they really should have behaved differently) or that the world/entire “system” is flawed (because what happened was so obviously unfair) or in the worse case scenario that we ourselves are somehow tragically flawed (i.e. others seem to be able to avoid these sorts of disasters, what’s wrong with me that I have allowed this to happen?). Regardless of who we target (and sometimes it is all of the above), the feeling is anything but good and our outlook on Life at these moments is anything but encouraging.

So yes, I am a Tinkerbell, but why am I celebrating this “brick wall” phenomena? Am I just trying to put an airy fairy costume on Captain Hook? Am I willing to smile when my entire world is falling down around me…? Have I somehow managed to control the “calamities” in my life so that my tales of woe delve no deeper than a bad hair day?

Ah, wouldn’t we all wish!! And if I could figure out how to achieve THAT, I promise you, I would definitely blog about it….!

No, Life definitely dealt me a distinctive wall that seemed to come out of nowhere. And it definitely scared me, worried me, depressed me and left me shivering in my boots….

BUT……!!!!

(…Yes, in the midst of my spiral, my despair actually lead me face to face with a very awe-inspiring and powerful “but”…..)

After I had panicked for a while and imagined all forms of ultimate destruction, I finally took a breath and ALLOWED myself to relax into the new thoughts that I have learned to begin thinking….

What if this “obstacle” (this huge horrible beast) is actually a necessary and important part of “the plan” to get me to “the next level”. What if instead of being evidence that something is “wrong”, it’s really a sign that something is on target…? What if this is not the Universe doing something TO me but doing something FOR ME…. what if it’s a hint to let go of something that no longer leads to the path that I desire….what if it’s a chance to re-examine my desires and to virtually “start fresh”….what if….what if…what if….? (And doesn’t it make sense that those “what if’s” just MIGHT be positive….)

And as I took it further in my mind, it struck me that we ALL encounter these hurdles…even the most “successful” folks encounter challenges in their lives…whether it’s Michael Jordan at one point being told that he can’t play basketball or numerous multi-millionaires pulling themselves up from bankruptcy. So if these “challenges” are so prevalent, it isn’t logical to buy into the belief that these “stumbles” are signs of failure. If those who succeed have also stumbled, then it isn’t accurate to tell ourselves that these stumbles just prove our own failure. In fact, many who now have success attribute their success to the lessons and inspirations that came as a result of those very catastrophes.

So if that’s the case, then maybe these brick walls are not signs of anything going “wrong”. And if things aren’t going wrong, if these challenges are an important part of our progress, doesn’t that mean that perhaps we shouldn’t be viewing these moments with such dread and self-loathing? Couldn’t it mean that rather than chide ourselves for our stupidity or for our slowness or for our inability to foresee (or control) events, that perhaps we should be smiling with the thrill of understanding that we have come upon one of the most high-octane moments of “the race”?

So, YES, today I declare peace with the brick wall…and as I look from this new perspective, I have to wonder if this daunting obstacle is really the wall that it initially appeared to be? Maybe it’s just a new palate on which to create…. maybe it’s THE lesson that will catapult me onward….maybe it’s part of the road forward…or maybe it’s the new lens with which I more clearly see my true self. Today, maybe it’s time that I thank this turn of events for inspiring me to look anew at this journey and to hope and to believe and to trust in this process.

Today, maybe it’s time to truly and openly look for the opportunity within the unknown. Maybe the challenge is simply to let go of the sails and to allow the power of the wind to carry this great vessel forward. There are worlds to discover so rather than curse our supposed misfortunes, let us venture on…strong, mighty and with the courage of the ever great explorer! If the moving currents can shape mountains, imagine what they can do to a mere brick wall….?